


After The Storm Blows Through

by WhispersInTheWing



Category: Supernatural, The Last of Us
Genre: Alternate Universe - Video Game World, Clickers (The Last Of Us), Dean Being an Asshole, Graphic Description, Gunshot Wounds, Infected (The Last Of Us), Kidnapping, M/M, Minor Character Death, Post-Apocalypse, Protective Castiel, Rape, Repressed Memories, Stalkers (The Last Of Us), Teen Sam Winchester, Underage Rape/Non-con, but only at first, immune character
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-04-10
Updated: 2017-04-10
Packaged: 2018-10-17 09:14:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 5
Words: 6,144
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10590948
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WhispersInTheWing/pseuds/WhispersInTheWing
Summary: Sam hated being different. It was the reason his best friend Anna was dead and he wasn't. But it was how he found out he was immune to the Cordyceps that had ravaged the world. Now he's being sent from his home in Boston to a Firefly lab in Salt Lake City in the hopes that a cure can be found from his blood.Dean Winchester was happy with the life he had managed to make with Castiel in Boston. They stayed under the military's radar while trying to help the other citizens of the Quarantine Zone survive. But when a shipment of guns is stolen, he and Cas cut a deal with the leader of the Fireflies to get them back, in exchange for smuggling Sam across the country.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So I originally wrote this as a straight up The Last Of Us fanfiction, but after some tinkering I decided to turn it into a Supernatural crossover AU. It'll follow the skeleton plot of the game but with some changes thrown in that I can cook up in my twisted imagination. Please heed the tags/warnings as this fic will be pretty dark in the middle.
> 
> Much Love, S

_Dear Journal:_

_You know, it’s kind of weird writing my most intimate and private thoughts down. What if something happens to me and someone gets ahold of this? They’ll know everything about me, everything I’ve ever thought or dreamt about. But Marlene says it’ll be good for me. She says this will help me with my “attitude problem”. Marlene just doesn’t understand what I’m going through. I’m the only kid in the Fireflies! And now, now she’s sending me to Salt Lake City with some person I’ve never met. She says there’s a hospital run by the Fireflies there, and they can make a vaccine out of my blood. Marlene tells me I’m special because I’m immune to the infection. I got bit nearly 3 weeks ago and never turned. All the Fireflies have been calling me a miracle; ever since they found out I’m immune. It’s too bad I don’t think of myself like that. I’m not a miracle … I’m a freak. All I’ll ever be is a freak._

_I don’t really have a lot more to say right now. Maybe once I meet this person who’s taking me to Salt Lake City, I’ll have something new._

_-Sam_

Sam closed his journal, shoved it into his pack and sighed. He looked around at the small dingy room he shared with six other people, in the abandoned hotel that served as the current Firefly HQ in Boston. This had been his home for as long as Sam could remember, and now he was leaving it, possibly for good. What little belongings he had were stuffed into the brown backpack Marlene had given to his for the journey.

“Sam, it’s time to go! Hurry up now!” Marlene called from down the hall. Sam stood up from his dirty mattress and, slinging his backpack on, walked to meet up with Marlene. Sam could hear voices coming from the nearby open door; voices he’d never heard before. He entered the Firefly office and stopped short. Marlene and the two strangers turned to face him.

“Sam, this is Castiel and Dean. They’ll be taking you to Salt Lake City,” Marlene explained as she introduced them.

Dean stepped forward. “Now wait a minute, Marlene. You didn’t tell us the transport was a fucking kid,” He said. “I’m not putting Cas in danger to go to all the way to Salt Lake City. We’ll get killed before we even make it halfway!”

“Dean, he’s more than just a kid. He’s very important to the Fireflies. I’d take him myself if I could … but I can’t. You promised you’d take Sam if I told you where your guns were. Now keep up your end of the deal,” Marlene reminded him. “You’re the only people who are capable of taking on this kind of challenge.”

“I’m right here, you know. I can hear everything you guys say,” Sam scoffed with a wave of his hand.

Cas approached Sam and held out his hand. “Hello, I’m Castiel,” Cas said with a smile. “But everyone calls me Cas.” Sam stared at Cas’s outstretched hand for a moment before shaking it and returned his smile.

“Hi Cas, it’s nice to meet you,” Sam replied softly. Cas seemed like a nice person, with a warm smile and kind eyes. If only the same could be said about the man Marlene had called Dean. Sam looked over Cas’s shoulder at him. He spoke in hushed tones to Marlene, his fists clenched as the two of them argued.

Cas followed Sam’s gaze and shook his head. “Don’t mind Dean. He may look like a hard-ass, but he’s a good guy once you get to know him,” Cas chuckled and patted Sam on the arm.

“Let’s cut the chit-chat guys. We better get going,” Dean said sternly as he walked to the door.

Cas stood and turned to face Dean. “I’m going with Marlene to get our guns. You take Sam and I’ll meet you guys at your apartment.”

“No, Cas. You take Sam and I’ll get the guns,” Dean replied coldly, his gaze never straying to Sam. Sam held back tears that stung his eyes and threatened to spill over. He didn’t understand why it hurt so much that Dean didn’t want to be burdened with watching over him, but he wasn’t about to let him see that.

Sam moved past Dean. “I’m gonna go say goodbye to Adam and the others before we leave,” He said softly.

“Okay Sam, but don’t take too long. We’ll be leaving soon,” Cas remarked. He waited until Sam was out of sight before speaking.

“What the hell was that about Dean? You would’ve been better off flat out telling that poor kid you hated him. I mean, Jesus Christ; you didn’t even have the decency to look at Sam!” Cas scolded.

“I don’t want to be responsible if something happens to him. I won’t have that on my head again,” Dean voiced. He turned his gaze to Cas’s feet.

“He’s not Ben, Dean. And what happened to Ben wasn’t your fault. You know that,” Cas said. He put a hand on Dean’s shoulder, bringing his gaze back to his face. “That kid is scared and is looking at us to protect him. We need to be strong. I know you can do this.”

Dean ran a hand through his disheveled hair. “How do you always know that right thing to say, Cas? I shouldn’t have acted that way. I’m going to apologize to him.” He moved past Cas and Marlene and left the room. He found Sam sitting on the floor beside the door, his ear pressed to the wall. He looked up at him, tears falling silently down his face. Dean sighed and knelt down beside him.

“How much of that did you hear?” He asked sheepishly. Dean couldn’t stand to see him this upset, especially since he was the cause of it.

Sam sniffled and wiped his face with a sleeve. “All of it. Who’s Ben?”

Dean sighed, rising to his feet and holding out a hand. “Let’s go for a walk.” Sam took his hand and he helped him stand. They walked for a long time without saying anything. It wasn’t until they reached the secluded rooftop that Dean finally spoke.

“Ben was my son. His mother Lisa and I dated in high school, and had Ben when we were sixteen. Unfortunately, after we graduated, Lisa took off for New York and left me to raise Ben on my own in Texas. He loved playing soccer; he was a natural at it. Ben loved life and was one of the kindest souls a person could ever meet,” Dean began as he looked out over the Quarantine Zone.

“How did he die? Did he get infected?” Sam wondered.

Dean sighed and ran a hand across his chin. “If only it were that simple. Ben and I were trying to evacuate with my uncle Bobby. The infection had just broken out in the south. Our car wrecked, and Ben broke his leg. I carried him through town while it erupted in chaos around us. We’d reached one of the military roadblocks when we were stopped by a soldier. I begged him to let us through; told him we weren’t infected and that Ben needed help. But he wouldn’t let us pass. His commanding officer ordered him to kill us. He raised his gun and I tried to turn; to shield Ben from the gunfire. I was too late. The soldier fired and … one of the bullets hit Ben. He died in my arms that night.” Dean recounted the story, his voice tight with grief. He bent down and pulled up the leg of his jeans up, revealing a round scar. “It’s how I got this.” He turned back towards the stairs, dropping the denim down to cover the scar.

Sam threw his arms around Dean, burying his face in the fabric of his shirt. “I’m sorry about what happened to Ben,” He murmured, his voice muffled.

Dean stiffened briefly before returning Sam’s embrace. “It’s okay Sam. Ben’s in a better place now. At least he didn’t have to see what the world came to.”


	2. Chapter 2

Sam was the first to pull back. Dean looked down at him, his chest constricting as he took in the tear stained face. _“He’s not Ben. He’s not Ben.”_ Dean had to keep reminding himself that this boy wasn’t Ben. Sam was stronger than Ben; Dean could see that in the way he held himself around others. But he was also just as vulnerable as any 14 year old kid, and that was something Dean had seen firsthand.

“I’m sorry I acted like such an ass. Can you forgive me?” Dean wondered.

“You’re already forgiven, Dean. I understand now why you acted that way,” Sam smiled.

“Let’s get going. I want to make it to my apartment before nightfall. The soldiers will be out in droves after curfew. Marlene would dismember me if I got you caught,” Dean laughed as he led the way back downstairs.

“Well I see you two made up,” Cas remarked as Dean and Sam entered the room. He helped Marlene to a nearby chair, blood staining her shirt.

“Marlene? What happened to you?” Sam asked with panic. He hadn’t noticed Marlene’s injuries earlier; he was too distracted by Dean and Cas.

“It’s alright Sam; it’s just a flesh wound. One of Robert’s men ambushed me. But I’ll be fine,” Marlene reassured. “I’m going to get myself patched up, and once I’m healed, I’ll meet you in Salt Lake City. I promise.”

Sam ran up to Marlene, throwing his arms around Marlene’s neck. Marlene hugged Sam tight to her chest, tears leaking from her eyes. “You’ll be safe with them. I trust Dean and Cas. I wouldn’t let you go with them if I didn’t.” Marlene pulled back and released Sam. She felt a part of her soul break off as their physical connection separated, and Marlene was left feeling hollow. “You keep him safe Dean.”

“Don’t worry Marlene. I’ll protect him with my life,” Dean replied stoically.

“Get to the Capitol building before you head out of the city. There are a group of Fireflies there who will give you extra supplies,” Marlene stated. “Food, medicine, ammo; whatever you think you’ll need.”

“Thanks Marlene,” Dean remarked. “Let’s go Sam. Curfew is in a few minutes, so we’ll have to be quiet.”

“Be careful you two. I’ll see you later tonight,” Cas said as he hugged Dean and Sam.

“You be careful too Cas. You know the military doesn’t think too kindly of us,” Dean laughed and hugged Cas tightly. Sam watched them warily, knowing that something was up between the two of them, but unable to decide for sure what it was.

Dean led the way as he and Sam left the Firefly HQ. Sam waved at everyone they passed by; committing each face to memory for the long journey ahead. These were the people he grew up with, the only family he’d ever known.

“So how do you know Marlene?” Sam asked as they slipped out the door and into a side alley that ran down the length of the street.

“My uncle Bobby used to be a Firefly in these parts. He tired of it after a while and headed out west. Last I heard he was living in Wyoming. Depending on how fast we get out of here, we’ll swing by his place. He knows the Fireflies well and he’ll know the safest route to getting to Salt Lake City,” Dean explained. They still had a few minutes until the curfew alarm would sound; then they’d have to stay silent. “He’s a good guy. You’ll like him.”

“Does he have any kids?” Sam asked. He was doing a great job so far of following directions. He kept his voice low and barely made a sound as he followed behind Dean.

“No, he was never really the fatherly type. Thought kids would be too much responsibility. It might be different now, though I doubt he would want to bring a child into this world.” Dean shook his head, letting Sam know that he didn’t want to discuss it anymore.

Sam looked around him as they paused to let the military convoy pass by without being seen. He’d never been to this part of town before, and he was fascinated and appalled by the barbed wire barriers and strong militia presence. “I’ve never been out here before,” Sam said once the coast was clear. “Marlene never allowed me to leave the Firefly compound. I’ve only seen the view from the roof. Is it like this everywhere; with the soldiers and the fences?”

“Not everywhere is like this, just the safe zones. Outside of the city, nature has reclaimed the Earth; lots of overgrown forests and animals all over the place. But that also means infected all over the place too. Once we get out of Boston, you need to always keep an eye out. And when I tell you to run … you run. You got that Sam?” Dean pondered as they continued across the street and into another alley.

“Got it. You don’t have to tell me twice,” Sam replied with a quick nod. “Where do we go next?”

“My place is a few buildings from here. We should be able to make it there without being spotted.” Dean ushered Sam to follow him as he entered an abandoned building through a side door.

Sam took in the room as they entered and he closed the door behind him. It was obvious that no one had lived in this building for a long time, and whoever had before the infection, had left in a hurry. The contents of the closets and dressers lay strewn all over the floor; the furniture haphazardly blocked some of the way upstairs and the front door. Sam stepped around a pile of bones and suppressed a shudder. It seemed as though not everyone had made it out of here alive.

“I knew these folks; Jody, Stan and their two children, Patrick and Lindsey. Stan snuck outside the walls to look for food and ended up getting bit. He hid it from Jody until it was too late. Jody had the kids go upstairs and as she was blocking the staircase, Stan bit her and went after the kids. This is Jody. I came over a few days later to check up on them, and that’s when I found them upstairs. The kids were just starting to turn.” Dean walked to the kitchen. He closed his eyes as the memory assaulted him.

“What did you do?” Sam asked, walking up behind him. This must’ve been what it was like when the infection first broke out; people unaware of what happened after being bit, then turning a few days later and killing their family.

“I did what had to be done, Sam. I put those kids out of their misery. It wasn’t easy, but I couldn’t allow them to live and infect the entire city. They didn’t feel any pain; didn’t suffer more than they already had,” Dean expressed, his voice cold.

“How long ago was this?”

“It was this time last year. No one’s lived here since.” Dean moved away from the dirty window and began to climb the stairs. 

Sam followed him silently upstairs, afraid of what he would see. Would he see the remains of the two children? Or had Dean given them a proper burial? In all honesty, Dean didn’t seem the type who liked to linger. Sam knew it must’ve been hard for Dean to kill those kids, especially now that he knew the story about Ben.

“We can get by the soldiers more easily if we cross the rooftops. It’ll save us at least half an hour,” Dean explained. When they reached the second floor landing, Dean climbed through an open window that led to a fire escape. “Through here, Sam.”

Sam followed closely behind, looking down at the street below every so often. He froze momentarily when a convoy passed below them; convinced one of the soldiers would choose to look up at that building at that moment and spot them.

“Don’t worry; the military doesn’t even check these buildings anymore. We’re safe up here,” Dean reassured Sam as they climbed up to the roof. “Cas and I use this route all the time. Never been caught once,” Dean chuckled, hoping to ease Sam’s fears.


	3. Chapter 3

“So what’s the deal with you and Cas anyway?” Sam gripped the straps of his backpack tight as they paused on the rooftop.

Dean turned, the ghost of a smile turning up the corners of his mouth. “That is none of your business.”

“Oh come on Dean, you can tell me. I can keep a secret,” Sam laughed.

“I’ll tell you about it once we get somewhere safe,” Dean replied.

“You promise?” Sam quirked an eyebrow at Dean and waited for his reply. He had a feeling that he was just saying that so he’d let the subject drop, so he needed a promise. Growing up, Marlene had promised things she couldn’t deliver on. Sam refused to let that happen anymore.

“I promise. Though I gotta warn you, the story isn’t all that interesting.” Dean stopped at the edge of the roof.

“What are we doing? How are we getting to the other side?” Sam wondered as he looked at the gap between the buildings. It was too far to jump, and the fall would surely kill them both. “It’s too far to jump.”

Dean walked to an air vent and grabbed the long wooden board that rested against it. He brought it back over to the edge and placed it across the gap. “You first.” He stepped back and motioned for Sam to cross. He stared at him, speechless. If Dean thought he was going to cross that rickety thing … he was crazy.

“I am not getting on that thing. It doesn’t look like it’ll hold my weight, let alone yours,” Sam remarked.

“It’s fine Sam. Cas and I come this way all the time; hasn’t broke on us yet. Now hurry up, I want to get home before dark.” Dean patted Sam’s shoulder and nudged him forward.

Sam let out a breath he didn’t realize he’d been holding, and took the first step out onto the plank. “Here goes nothing,” He muttered. He crossed the plank as quickly as he dared, the wind threatening to knock him right off. 

The moment his feet touched solid ground, he dropped to his knees and fought off a wave of nausea. “Okay, that was not fun,” He gasped. Dean followed across the plank easily.

“Don’t worry, it gets easier.” He grabbed Sam’s hand and helped him to his feet. They crossed the roof towards the next building; the siren signaling curfew sounded in the air. 

They reached the other side, and Sam looked around nervously. “We don’t have to cross another gap … do we?”

Dean chuckled and shook his head. “No, don’t worry. We don’t have to cross any more gaps today. My apartment’s in the next building, so we’ll go down the fire escape.” Without another word, Dean made his way down the fire escape, Sam right on his heels. He was more than ready to get out of the open, even though it was the first time in years he’d seen the rest of the QZ.

They crossed to the next building and slipped through an open window into a hallway. Sam took the opportunity to catch his breath and make sure he wasn’t going to upchuck all over their shoes.

“Does anyone else live in this building?” Sam asked as he glanced at each closed door they passed as they continued down the hall.

“Yeah, but not on this floor; most people live on the first three floors. It’s just Cas and me up here,” Dean responded. “We like our privacy.” He stopped at the last door at the end of the hall. “Well, here we are.” He opened the door and ushered Sam inside. Dean took one last look down the hall before closing the door and locking it.

“So what are we going to do until Cas gets here?” Sam wondered as he walked around the apartment, taking it in. It was a bit small, but didn’t make Sam feel crowded. Instead it made him feel warm and safe.

Dean flopped down on the couch and tucked his arm behind his head. “I’m going to get some sleep. We have a long trip ahead of us and we’ll need all the sleep we can get. But I don’t really care what you do.”

Sam stared at Dean and scoffed. “Whatever Dean,” He muttered before settling down on the ledge beneath the window. He waited until he was sure Dean was asleep, and then pulled out his journal from his bag.

_Dear Journal:_

_So as it turns out, Marlene won’t be taking me to the Firefly hospital in Salt Lake City. She got hurt and can’t make the long journey out right now. The two people she got to agree to take me are … okay. Cas is really nice and he actually seems happy to take me. I think he and I are going to be good friends._

_Then there’s Dean, or as I like to call him, captain hard-ass. Someone obviously woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning. Ever since he found out that he and Cas were taking a kid, he’s been against it. At first he wouldn’t even look me in the eye. Talk about being a dick._

_I really shouldn’t be too hard on him though. It turns out that it wasn’t me specifically he couldn’t stand. He had a son that died right when the infection broke out, and he couldn’t stand the thought of having to deal with another kid. His name was Ben and he was my age. I could tell how hard it was for Dean to talk about Ben after all these years, but I’m glad he trusted me enough to open up about it. Crap! He was supposed to tell me what the deal is between him and Cas! I really shouldn’t wake him though, he needs some sleep. Maybe I can ask Cas._

_Even though she didn’t say it, I know Marlene enlisted Dean’s help because he’ll keep my attitude in check, which though I hate to admit, could be good for me in the long run. But that doesn’t mean I won’t bug him every step of the way. Today is the start of a brand new chapter of my life. But am I really ready for it?  
I guess we’ll find out._

_-Sam_

Sam closed his journal and stuffed it into the bottom of his backpack. Dean snored softly on the couch and Sam suppressed a giggle. He watched him sleep for a moment, and in that moment he pictured what it would’ve been like to have a normal life. He pictured what it would’ve been like to wake up in the morning and not have to worry about being caught by the military and killed. He pictured what it would’ve been like to come home to a mom and dad.

“What are you staring at?” Dean asked groggily. Sam pulled himself from his thoughts. He hadn’t realized he’d been staring at Dean while he slept.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to stare. I was thinking,” Sam remarked. He moved away from the couch and meandered around the kitchen. “It’s good that you’re awake. You promised me you’d tell me about you and Cas. So go on, spill.”

Dean sighed and patted the empty cushion next to him. Sam sat down beside him and waited patiently.

“Like I said, the story ain’t all that interesting,” Dean began. “I actually met Cas through Bobby. They were in the Fireflies together here in Boston, and I found myself tagging along on jobs. After a while, Bobby got out of the Fireflies and out of Boston. Said he couldn’t handle the stress anymore. Cas started to question the way Marlene ran things, so he asked if I would go into business with him.”

“What kind of business?” Sam asked.

“The kind of business that could get us in a lot of trouble with the military; counterfeiting ration cards, smuggling guns into the city, things like that. But seeing as how I didn’t have anything to really live for, I agreed. Cas and I have been partners in crime ever since,” Dean finished.

“That’s it? Come on Dean, there has to be more to that story!” Sam complained.

“I’m sorry to disappoint you Sam. I told you the story wasn’t very interesting.”

“But what about all the juicy details you’re leaving out? You can’t honestly think I believe you and Cas haven’t hooked up?” Sam scoffed.

“That is none of your business,” Dean chuckled. “You’ll understand when you’re older. But I know he wants to be more than just friends and business partners.”

“So you have hooked up with Cas!” Sam exclaimed with a laugh. “I knew it! But don’t worry Dean; I won’t tease you that much.” Sam smiled and punched Dean playfully in the arm.

“Sure you won’t Sam. I’ll remember that the next time you bring it up,” Dean said with a wink.


	4. Chapter 4

A sudden knock on the door had Dean and Sam tensing. Dean drew his gun and silently got to his feet.

“Dean, it’s me. Let me in.” Cas’ voice came from the other side of the door. Dean holstered his gun and let Cas inside. Sam rolled his shoulders in an effort to release the tension that had built.

“Is Marlene alright?” Sam asked as Dean locked the door behind Cas.

“She’s fine Sam, all patched up.” Cas dropped the bag he was carrying on the floor and unzipped it. “Here’s all our guns Dean; extra ammunition too. Marlene wants us to get Sam to Salt Lake in one piece.” Cas chuckled.

Dean whistled as he inspected the merchandise. “It looks like this trip will be worth it in the end.”

“Damn right it will be. And I’ve always wanted to see the country,” Cas replied with a smile.

Sam waited for Dean to go into the other room before approaching Cas. “Hey, can I talk to you?” He asked.

“Sure Sam. What’s up?” Cas strapped holsters to his hips.

“What’s the deal with you and Dean?” He wondered.

“I heard that!” Dean shouted from the other room. “Sam’s trying to find out if we’ve hooked up. Don’t tell him anything Cas!”

Cas chuckled. “Sorry kiddo, looks like you’ve been busted.” He dropped his voice to a whisper. “And yeah, we have.”

Sam laughed. “I knew it! Thanks Cas.” He smiled and moved over to the window again. As he stared at the city laid out in front of him, Sam wished that he didn’t have to leave. Boston was everything he’d ever known. He didn’t even know what the rest of the country looked like. He didn’t know the people or their rules. Needless to say … Sam was terrified.

“We’ll get everything loaded up and head out after dark,” Dean remarked with a yawn. “Get some sleep you two.” He retreated into the bedroom and climbed into bed.

“Goodnight Dean,” Sam said softly, lying down on the couch.

“Are you going to be okay out here?” Cas asked as he tucked a blanket around Sam, brushing a strand of hair from his face.

“Yeah, I’ll be fine,” Sam replied. “Thanks Cas.”

“Just holler if you need anything, or come get me.” Cas stood and retired into the bedroom, closing the door behind him. He left it open a crack so that he could hear if Sam called for him. He took off his shoes and stripped out of his clothes. He climbed into bed and settled in beside Dean.

“Is he asleep now?” Dean asked, draping his arm over Cas.

“Yeah,” Cas replied. “But who knows for how long? I don’t think he’ll sleep long; but whether it’s from fear or excitement, I don’t know.” Cas let out a long sigh and closed his eyes, drifting into a fitful sleep. He tossed and turned as the sounds of the zone drifted in through the open window.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this was such a short chapter, but it felt like a good place to stop. There's going to be some Cas backstory in the next chapter which gets pretty long. Hope you enjoy!
> 
> Much Love, S


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's an extra long chapter for you all to make up for the last short chapter! I hope you enjoy it!
> 
> Much Love, S

Cas awoke a short time later, feeling more exhausted then before he went to sleep. He slid silently out of bed, wrapped an extra blanket around himself, and tiptoed into the living room to check on Sam.

“Cas? Is that you?” Sam asked from the couch. He sat up, brushing a stray lock of hair from his face.

“Yeah, it’s me. Did I wake you?” Cas whispered as he sat down on the couch beside Sam.

“No, I … couldn’t sleep. I’m scared,” Sam admitted, wrapping his arms around his knees. “What about you? What are you doing up so soon?”

Cas sighed and tightened the blanket around him. “I couldn’t sleep either. To tell you the truth, I’ve never been able to really sleep more than a couple hours in this place. The goddamn military patrols don’t know how to do it quietly; and every once in a while, a runner or a clicker finds its way in, so there’s always a few gunshots. You would think that after so many years, I’d be used to it, but it’s not something I think I’ll ever get used to.”

“How long have you lived in Boston?” Sam wondered. Ever since he’d learned a little about Dean’s past, Sam wanted to know everything about the two people who he was about to trek across the country with.

“I’ve lived here for about 10 years. Before that, I lived in a community in Philadelphia for about 7 years. And before that, I lived in the QZ in Memphis.”

“Is that where you’re from? Memphis?”

“I’m actually from Nashville; it’s a city not far from Memphis.” Cas explained. “Memphis was a pretty nice place to live; good people, a good community … until the military lost control of the city, and everything turned to shit. The Fireflies were just starting to become a threat to the military about 3 years after the outbreak, and all it took was one well-placed attack to bring the military to its knees. Once the chaos started, I got the hell out of there as fast as I could. Found myself wandering around for a few years, hopping from group to group. Soon I was heading northeast, and a few weeks later ended up just outside of Philadelphia. I met a guy named Crowley who wanted me to join up with his group of hunters.”

“Did you?” Sam asked, enthralled with the story.

“Yeah I did, but only because I didn’t know what exactly hunters did back then. I assumed they went around hunting down infected; trying to clean the world up. It wasn’t until the first group of tourists wandered into the city did I finally see what hunters really did. They gunned down those kids without even blinking. I should’ve gotten out then and there, but I loved Crowley and was afraid to be alone again. Crowley was a good man. He just … got caught up with the wrong crowd. He tried to be the peace-keeper; tried to get the leader to ease up on executing whoever stepped into his territory. But the man was ruthless, and didn’t want to come off soft,” Cas recalled, his eyes cold.

“Whatever happened to Crowley? Is he still in Philadelphia?” Sam wondered.

Cas chuckled, shaking his head. “When I finally left Philly, he was still rolling with that group of hunters. He told me it was the only place where he felt like he belonged, where he had purpose.”

“So after you left Philly, you came here to Boston?”

“Yeah, though it took me a while to get here. I stopped along the way and met some great people. When I first got to Boston, I remembered what happened in Memphis and decided to join the military. After watching all those innocent people get caught in the crossfire, I wanted to make sure that never happened in another QZ again. I was still pretty naïve back then,” Cas laughed with a smile. “They put me on perimeter patrol, where I met Alfie. Alfie had just turned 18 and was a rookie just like me, and we became close very fast. He was a sweet kid who only wanted to make his mom proud.

“It was a stormy night on patrol; it was just Alfie and I patrolling a section of the southern wall. We had been working together a little over 4 months. I got so wrapped up in my own thoughts that I didn’t realize we’d gotten separated, until I heard him scream. I raced towards him, hoping and praying that he’d just fallen and broken a leg or an arm. I didn’t want to think about the alternative.”

Sam held his breath in anticipation. “It was bad, wasn’t it?” Sam voiced the unasked question that hung in the air. He could see Cas struggle to continue his story, and was about to tell him he didn’t have to keep going, when Cas spoke again.

“It was horrible. By the time I finally got to Alfie, he’d been nearly torn to shreds by a Clicker. There was nothing I could do to save him. I took down the Clicker and radioed for help. Alfie was near death, and all I could do was stay beside him and comfort him until the end."

“How bad did the Clicker get him?” Sam asked cautiously.

“He’d been eviscerated.”

“Eviscerated? What’s that?”

“His … stomach had been torn open and his insides were all over the place. It wasn’t a pretty sight. I still have nightmares about it when I close my eyes. I took off Alfie’s helmet and just tried to make him as comfortable as possible. There was nothing I could do.” Sam watched Cas get lost in the memory, his gaze staring down at the couch between them. “He died before the others even got there. I remember holding him in my arms and telling him that everything would be okay. It was awful. I still see it every time I close my eyes.”

Cas closed his eyes against the sudden flood of tears that ran down his face. Behind his closed lids, he relived Alfie’s death over and over again. His screams filled his ears; he clasped his hands over his ears and rocked back and forth to banish the memories.

~~~***~~~

Dean awoke with a start, the sound of Cas’s cries echoing through the house. He’d never heard him cry like that, and he felt his chest tighten. He jumped out of bed, grabbing his gun from the nearby table. Dean rushed into the living room and stopped dead in his tracks. Cas was curled up in a ball on the couch, his knees drawn up to his chest and his hands clutching his head. Sam sat beside him, fear evident in his eyes.

“Cas!” Dean shouted as he hurried to his side, dropping to his knees beside the couch. “Sam, what happened?”

“I don’t know! He was telling me a story and just started freaking out!” Sam cried, trying to keep himself calm.

“Cas? Cas, can you hear me?” Dean pulled Cas’s hands from the sides of his head and held them in his larger ones. He stroked the backs of his hands with his thumbs, hoping the contact would pull him from whatever nightmarish memory he was stuck in. “Shh, everything’s gonna be alright Castiel. You’re safe … you’re safe. I’m right here. Sam is right here. I won’t let anything hurt you.” Dean grabbed Cas around the waist and pulled him down into his lap. He held him to his chest, rubbing small circles on his back as his sobs slowly died down.

“Is he gonna be okay?” Sam asked. He had moved down to the floor beside Dean.

“Yeah, don’t worry Sam. Cas is going to be fine. Just being here with him will help bring him out of this. He hasn’t gotten this bad in a while. It’ll pass.” Dean patted Sam’s arm reassuringly.

“I’m sorry,” Sam whispered.

Dean looked up, his brow knitted in confusion. “What are you sorry for? You didn’t do this Sam.”

“Yes I did! I couldn’t sleep, and when he came out here I asked him about his past. If it wasn’t for me, he wouldn’t have had to remember it. I’m sorry.” Sam jumped up from the couch and ran from the apartment, the door slamming behind him.


End file.
